How to Take Care of Yourself While Debunking Common Myths Around the Superwoman
Hello to all the incredible women out there, especially my fellow Black women. This message is for you. Let’s talk about the Superwoman myth and how to take care of ourselves while juggling the many roles we play in life: mom, professional, wife, student, family supporter, and friend. We do it all, but it’s time to debunk some myths around the concept of the Superwoman.
What is the Superwoman Trap?
The idea of the Superwoman, particularly for Black women, emerged as a response to negative stereotypes such as the hyper-sexualized Jezebel or the nurturing Mammy. The Superwoman image was meant to highlight our resilience and strength in the face of white supremacy and patriarchy. While these traits are admirable, the baggage that comes with them needs to be addressed, especially for Gen X, millennials, and Gen Z.
I recall an episode of "Empire" where Cookie Lyon, a character known for her sass and confidence, has a breakdown. She sees a therapist who helps her understand that trying to do it all without taking care of herself is unsustainable. The truth is, if we don’t take care of ourselves, no one else will. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
The Impact of the Superwoman Myth
The Superwoman myth can have significant negative impacts on our health, creating stress and tension. While it’s important to celebrate our strength, it’s equally important to find a healthy balance between doing it all and managing without burnout.
This myth isn’t about undermining the strength of women, especially Black women, but rather recognizing the need for balance and self-care.
Themes and Symptoms of the Superwoman
Displaying the Image of Strength: Taking care of everyone and everything, yet still finding time for oneself, is a common expectation. This can be influenced by societal norms and the example set by previous generations.
Suppressing Emotions: Many feel that no one will understand their struggles, leading to difficulty in expressing emotions. There’s also the fear of being labeled the "angry Black woman" for simply expressing oneself.
Not Asking for Help: There’s often resistance to being vulnerable or dependent on others. The Superwoman feels the need to lead and control situations, fearing that accepting help might lead to disappointment or being taken advantage of.
Need to Succeed: Perfectionism and striving to be the best despite limited resources can lead to neglecting self-care and putting health at risk.
Obligation to Help Others: The Superwoman feels responsible for others’ problems, often taking on excessive burdens. This stems from a nurturing nature and difficulty in setting boundaries.
Overcoming the Superwoman Trap
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." - Audre Lorde
Here are some ways to combat the Superwoman trap:
Set Boundaries: Know when your plate is full.
Ask for Help: Have the courage to be vulnerable and express your needs.
Relinquish Perfectionism: Accept that no one is perfect.
Accountability: Have others hold you accountable for self-care.
Personally, I also struggle with this trap. However, I’ve learned to be more intentional with my time, ensuring I take breaks and setting boundaries. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. So, to all the strong women out there, especially Black, Indigenous, and women of color, take time for yourself, say no, set boundaries, express your feelings, and ask for help.
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What are your thoughts about the Superwoman trap? I’d love to hear from you.
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